Jeremiah 29:11 states, “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I declare that as truth in my life. I am amazingly confident going in to tomorrow’s visit with the oncologist that I am CANCER FREE. There is not even the smallest seed of doubt. I have had numerous friends and family call/text/facebook with questions of how I am doing. I am doing great. I believe that Jesus is a mighty healer, a might redeemer and will set me free. No matter what happens tomorrow, those statements will never change.
To truly understand the significance of my peace you need to know a few bits of my childhood. I was a horribly anxious girl. I feared going to school. I feared missing school. I feared getting to my locker. I feared getting from my locker to class on time. I feared being made fun of. I feared Mom and Dad leaving me at Girl Scout camp. I feared messing up a play while on the basketball or volleyball court. I was mostly an insomniac throughout the duration of middle school. I couldn’t sleep because my fear was so extreme. I can’t quite remember getting over that, but as with most things, it just seemed to fade away. I think even as an adult there are bits of fear that creep up on me. I sleep perfectly fine now though… Just ask Roy. One of the things that is amazing me is that there is not a drop of fear within me regarding hearing the results of my PET scan and blood work tomorrow. I do think I will be shocked if Dr. Stone says that I still have cancer, even more so than when I was first diagnosed. Back in February I knew there was something wrong. I knew I hadn’t been feeling well for months. When the Lord spoke to me that this would be a “journey for His glory” I pretty well knew there was going to be a rough road ahead. I now believe the Lord is giving me peace beyond my understanding.
I believe one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given us is the gift of time. That divine gift of time is so wonderful. It is such a tool that is used in healing. When I lost one of my sisters in a car accident on November 16, 1994 I truly thought time stood still. I desperately wanted it to stop moving forward and in fact, I only wanted it to go backwards. Back to a time when Heather was still with us. Back to a time when the road travelled that autumn night ended with a different result. Time standing still or going backward are not options. God allows us to continue to move forward despite our desperate attempts to stay right where we are. The Lord gave me an awesome opportunity to move forward over the past year. He did that over time and I am thankful for that gift.
After the boys prayed tonight, I explained to them that I would be going to the doctor tomorrow to get the results of my recent tests. I asked each boy what they thought the doctor would say. Matt stated a long string of jibberish and Jake followed with, “It’ll be alright and you are going to live a long life.” Yes sir! Thank you very much for the vote of confidence! It will be alright. No matter what is said tomorrow, it will be alright. Thank you for your prayers, because despite the results of tomorrow, the journey will never be over. The Lord will continue to refine my character and for that I am incredibly grateful. He will provide opportunities to witness to people in all situations and in various circumstances. Until tomorrow…